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How to Handle Rejection

7/12/2023

 
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Rejection hurts. I’ve helped many artists “handle rejection,” but two recent rejections of my own reminded me of what it feels like when the door you were trying to open gets slammed in your face. 

One of my rejections was personal, the other professional. In both cases I had put forth my best effort, indeed my best self. For artists it’s always personal, because your art is part of you.  In order to build your practice you’re always applying for things: juried shows, residencies, grants, awards, and each time you make yourself vulnerable. When rejection happens, you take a body blow. The places that hurt are real wounds, even if they don’t show. 

As I was figuring out how to handle my own rejections, I remembered my favorite advice from a therapist friend: there’s no way through it but through it, so feel your feelings. You might also reach out to your allies for support, and then start to put your suffering in a larger context.

Think about what’s still positive in your life and work. Since rejection can place a dark filter over everything, try to remember what’s going well, what you’re good at and grateful for. This might include friends and family, your work, your talent, everything that remains true in spite of the powerful noise of the NO.

Then step back, and see if there’s anything you can do, or anything you can learn from the experience of rejection. You might take a proactive approach, and get a second opinion, or just keep submitting what was rejected. You could join a critique group so that you get regular feedback from people you trust.

Most of all, move on. One negative opinion does not define your work, or your worth. 


​​​Mary Edwards, Ph.D
Career & Life Coach for Artists
“Left Brain Skills for Right Brained People”
Instagram: coachingforartists.maryedwards ​

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Local Marin County artists meet with me in person, by telephone, or via Zoom throughout the coaching program.  I coach U.S based and international clients via telephone, Zoom and SKYPE.  Contact me now to schedule a free, 30-minute consultation.  
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